I've never been one to speculate or attempt to predict what can happen during an NFL season before it starts, but since I'm blogging outrageous then I have to include a preseason tidbit about the Horsepack. One reason I am motivated to do so, is Elvis Dumervil. For those of you who don't have a clue, or don't even give a damn, he led the NFL in sacks last season with 17. He may also be one of the smallest individuals to accomplish such a feat, standing at 5'11". What impresses me about Elvis even more than his numbers, are his no-nonsense attitude and ethic. The other day I was scrolling through ESPN bottomline, reading that this guy and that guy won't be showing up at voluntary team workouts throughout the course of the summer (looking at you, Haynesworthless). I eventually got to Dumervil and observed he was the only one attending. A small step in the right direction for the Broncos would be to give this guy an extension and give him his money, as he has openly stated he
wants to be a Denver Bronco. Here's a shot of Elvis posing with (on?) Eli Manning on Week 12 of his turf diet.
But unfortunately, we no longer have Mike Shanahan making our football decisions, as indicated by failed contract negotiations and the subsequent departure of the best wideout in the game. Some of you might of heard about this; you know, Brandon Marshall being traded to the Dolphins for two second rounds picks. The NFL, where superstars are traded for draft picks.
(Fast forward to :34)
I'm glad I got that out of my system. Ironically, or not really ironically at all, South Park takes place in Denver, the boys are Broncos fans, and it aired before the trade occurred. Crazy stuff right?! However, not ALL Broncos fans are Japanese. Most of us also love whales, and we wholeheartedly agree that the Japanese pictured above more closely resemble Patriots fans.
In all seriousness, though, it'll be tough having little to no passing offense for a season or so, but at least our defense will be solid. Marshall is also sidelined until training camp, so depending on how he recovers from surgery, the Bronco's front office can grade their foresight accordingly. Moreno will be a solid 2nd year running back and put up good numbers, and our awkward trifecta of quarterbacks is sure to produce. Just kidding. Kyle Orton is the current starter, while Brady Quinn and Tim Tebow are still taking snaps. Competition is healthy for a team though, if that's what you would like to call it. It'll be closer to Brady Quinn convincing the Bronco's staff that he's not as bad as
JaMarcus Russell; an individual certainly not deserving of TWO capital letters in his name (it took me three times to spell it even after I Googled it).
It's not all bad for us though. We have a intriguing replacement for Marshall in first round selection Demaryius Thomas (to think I struggled on JaMarcus), plus we have an
angry Brian Dawkins. Dawkins tell us that he and his teammates need to have a "dog mentality" coming out of the gate and this is exactly what we want to hear. After being on the squad for one season, he has already established himself as a vocal (duh), team leader. The dude is literally out of his gord, who's
not going to listen to him? What? Oh, dogs, yeah, got it boss. Woof, growl, bark, bite!
ESPN released it's
Offseason Power Rankings, and after a 8-8 finish last season, has us at 20 (Redskins are at 23) with essentially nothing to say about the team. Finally, I'm excited for Wesley Woodyard to do his thing and furthermore show that you don't need hype, or to get drafted, to earn respect. I'm also excited at the prospect that Vincent Jackson is going to be suspended, or possible traded (Seattle?). Hurray for NFC West other-team-turmoil!
That might be it for the football until the season begins because other than big signings and injuries, the offseason is pretty worthless to me as a indicator of upcoming season success.
