Sunday, May 23, 2010

ESPN has too much time on their hands, pt. II

Really just they have their filthy mits everywhere. Basically, a sales rep for Washington Wizards ticket sales gets bold on Friday and posts this status :

"I am a sales rep for the Washington Wizards. John Wall will be our choice as the [No. 1] overall pick in the June draft. If you want a great deal on tickets ... email me."

This guy is about to have another hundred or so friend requests and e-mails because of this stunt. Wizards get a few more ticket sales, too maybe. But I'm really left scratching my head because there isn't a single LeBron James headline. More people care about the Wiz than LeBron James now? John Wall > LeBron James?? I forgot what I was talking about.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Broncos 2010-2011 Season Outlook

I've never been one to speculate or attempt to predict what can happen during an NFL season before it starts, but since I'm blogging outrageous then I have to include a preseason tidbit about the Horsepack. One reason I am motivated to do so, is Elvis Dumervil. For those of you who don't have a clue, or don't even give a damn, he led the NFL in sacks last season with 17. He may also be one of the smallest individuals to accomplish such a feat, standing at 5'11". What impresses me about Elvis even more than his numbers, are his no-nonsense attitude and ethic. The other day I was scrolling through ESPN bottomline, reading that this guy and that guy won't be showing up at voluntary team workouts throughout the course of the summer (looking at you, Haynesworthless). I eventually got to Dumervil and observed he was the only one attending. A small step in the right direction for the Broncos would be to give this guy an extension and give him his money, as he has openly stated he wants to be a Denver Bronco. Here's a shot of Elvis posing with (on?) Eli Manning on Week 12 of his turf diet.

But unfortunately, we no longer have Mike Shanahan making our football decisions, as indicated by failed contract negotiations and the subsequent departure of the best wideout in the game. Some of you might of heard about this; you know, Brandon Marshall being traded to the Dolphins for two second rounds picks. The NFL, where superstars are traded for draft picks.

(Fast forward to :34)

I'm glad I got that out of my system. Ironically, or not really ironically at all, South Park takes place in Denver, the boys are Broncos fans, and it aired before the trade occurred. Crazy stuff right?! However, not ALL Broncos fans are Japanese. Most of us also love whales, and we wholeheartedly agree that the Japanese pictured above more closely resemble Patriots fans.

In all seriousness, though, it'll be tough having little to no passing offense for a season or so, but at least our defense will be solid. Marshall is also sidelined until training camp, so depending on how he recovers from surgery, the Bronco's front office can grade their foresight accordingly. Moreno will be a solid 2nd year running back and put up good numbers, and our awkward trifecta of quarterbacks is sure to produce. Just kidding. Kyle Orton is the current starter, while Brady Quinn and Tim Tebow are still taking snaps. Competition is healthy for a team though, if that's what you would like to call it. It'll be closer to Brady Quinn convincing the Bronco's staff that he's not as bad as JaMarcus Russell; an individual certainly not deserving of TWO capital letters in his name (it took me three times to spell it even after I Googled it).

It's not all bad for us though. We have a intriguing replacement for Marshall in first round selection Demaryius Thomas (to think I struggled on JaMarcus), plus we have an angry Brian Dawkins. Dawkins tell us that he and his teammates need to have a "dog mentality" coming out of the gate and this is exactly what we want to hear. After being on the squad for one season, he has already established himself as a vocal (duh), team leader. The dude is literally out of his gord, who's not going to listen to him? What? Oh, dogs, yeah, got it boss. Woof, growl, bark, bite!

ESPN released it's Offseason Power Rankings, and after a 8-8 finish last season, has us at 20 (Redskins are at 23) with essentially nothing to say about the team. Finally, I'm excited for Wesley Woodyard to do his thing and furthermore show that you don't need hype, or to get drafted, to earn respect. I'm also excited at the prospect that Vincent Jackson is going to be suspended, or possible traded (Seattle?). Hurray for NFC West other-team-turmoil!

That might be it for the football until the season begins because other than big signings and injuries, the offseason is pretty worthless to me as a indicator of upcoming season success.

Crime Does Pay: Finger Guns for Pong Balls

I've been meaning to start my blog for sometime now, and since exams are over with, it feels like a great time to start. I'm not sure what exactly the blog posts will entail, but hopefully they will be relevant and interesting. There will be basketball, of course; especially with the recent epic failings of the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Wizards owning the top pick in June's NBA Draft. It almost makes us feel like champions. Irene Pollin was thrilled, to say the least.

Wiz management no doubt had a similar reaction upon hearing this news: RT @dcsportsblog "via @MrMichaelLee, the Wiz sold nearly 400 season-ticket packages in the first 12 hours after the draft lottery."

Is it possible that the wonderful days of buying $10 tickets on student night and moving down to 100 level are gone? Let's pray this isn't so, but also pray for DC team sports success. Goddamn we needed that. Anyway, I'd like to hear people's thoughts on who the Wizards should take with the top pick. Let's be honest though, 400 season ticket packages weren't sold because of the prospect of Evan Turner playing in DC. However, I do not know the full pool of draftees too well so input is encouraged.